Holding Both: The Grief and Relief of Watching Your Child Grow
By Jolene Altman, LCSW, Licensed Therapist for Moms in Illinois
The Emotional Weight Moms Quietly Carry
There’s a quiet, often unspoken ache many moms feel—the emotional stretch between grief and relief as you watch your child grow through each season of life.
You’re constantly adjusting, pivoting, and evolving. One moment you're nursing through the night, the next you're waving goodbye at preschool drop-off, and before long, you're negotiating curfews and watching them pull away in ways both healthy and heart-wrenching.
And through all of it, one truth remains:
Each season of motherhood ends. And each new season asks something new of you.
Therapy for Moms: Naming the Emotional Labor
This is something I talk about often in my therapy sessions with moms here in Illinois: the emotional labor of motherhood is real—and relentless. You're not just managing tasks and routines. You’re emotionally adjusting to who your child was, who they are, and who they’re becoming.
And that means...
Feeling relief when a difficult stage passes—while grieving the sweet moments you didn’t know were the last.
Feeling proud of your child’s growing independence—while missing the days when they needed you constantly.
Feeling overwhelmed by the constant evolution—while trying to stay connected to who you are in it all.
This is what it means to hold both. And it’s something so many moms experience, even if they don’t have the words for it.
You Are Not Failing. You Are a Mom with a Full Heart.
If you're feeling stretched, conflicted, or emotionally raw—please know this:
You’re not failing. You’re simply a mom trying to hold all of it.
Grief in motherhood is real. So is joy.
So is guilt. So is pride.
You’re allowed to feel it all.
Supporting Overwhelmed Moms in Illinois
In my work providing therapy for moms in Illinois, I often hear women say things like:
“I didn’t expect to feel this sad now that things are easier.”
“I thought I’d enjoy this stage more—why do I miss the last one so much?”
“I don’t know who I am outside of being ‘mom.’”
If you relate to these thoughts, you’re not alone. Therapy can help you:
Untangle the emotional complexity of motherhood
Grieve the versions of your child (and yourself) that are gone
Feel more present and grounded in the here and now
Reconnect with your identity beyond just “mom”
You Don’t Have to Hold It All Alone
If you're a mom in Illinois looking for support, therapy can be a compassionate space to process all of this.
Whether you're navigating early motherhood, school-age transitions, the teen years, or stages of launch, your emotional experience matters. And you deserve support, too.
📍 Offering online therapy for moms throughout Illinois
Book on my website today for a free consultation!
💬 Let’s make space for your story, your grief, your growth—and your peace.
Warmly,
Jolene Altman, LCSW
Licensed Therapist for Moms in Illinois
Specializing in grief, identity shifts, and emotional overwhelm in motherhood
