When You Feel Like the Only Mom Who Can’t Figure It Out
A Therapist’s Perspective on Anxiety, Comparison, and Feeling Like You’re Failing
If you’re a mom who feels like she’s failing, a mom who compares herself to others, or a mom who feels completely alone in her struggles—you are not the only one.
As a therapist who works with moms every day, I hear this theme all the time:
“Everyone else seems to have it together. I feel like I’m the only one who can’t figure it out.”
This quiet shame and anxiety are incredibly common, but rarely spoken aloud. Social media, parenting blogs, and school drop-offs offer endless chances to compare. And when you're tired, overwhelmed, and unsure if you're doing enough, it can feel like you're falling behind while everyone else is keeping up. If you are a mom of a neurodivergent child, this feeling can become all-consuming.
Why So Many Moms Feel Like They’re Failing
The sense of “I’m not doing this right” isn’t a personal flaw. It’s a reflection of anxiety — the kind that shows up in motherhood as chronic self-doubt, mental exhaustion, and emotional isolation. That isolation can feel so dark.
When anxiety is running in the background, it becomes easy to believe you’re the only mom who feels this lost. But the truth is: many moms are struggling behind the scenes.
Whether you’re working full-time, staying home, parenting solo, or somewhere in between, the mental load is heavy. And when there’s no space to slow down, comparison becomes a quick and painful measure of your worth.
Moms Who Compare Themselves to Others: You’re Not Alone
Comparing yourself to other moms can feel automatic. You see someone who looks calm, put-together, or organized, and suddenly you’re flooded with shame or guilt. But that moment of comparison often masks a deeper need — for rest, connection, or reassurance.
If you're a mom who constantly compares herself to others, it’s not because you're shallow or insecure. It's often because you’re anxious and craving evidence that you're doing okay.
3 Gentle Ways to Support Yourself When You Feel Like You’re Failing
If you're a mom who feels like she's falling short, here are three ways to start tending to that part of you that feels broken or behind:
1. Pause the Comparison and Ask What You Need
Noticing that you’re comparing yourself is the first step. The next step is curiosity. Instead of judging yourself for feeling behind, gently ask: What am I really needing right now?
You might be craving rest, connection, or just a moment of validation. These are human needs—not signs of failure.
2. Name the Real Feelings Underneath “Not Enough”
“Not enough” is often a placeholder for deeper feelings: anxiety, sadness, overwhelm, even grief for how hard this season of life is.
Naming those feelings—out loud, in writing, or in therapy—helps you meet yourself with compassion instead of criticism.
3. Reach Out Before It Feels “Bad Enough”
So many moms believe they have to hold everything together until they're falling apart. But you don’t have to wait until you're in crisis to seek help.
Therapy is a space to unpack the anxiety, the comparison, and the pressure you carry every day. You don’t need to justify needing support. You just need space to be real.
Therapy Helps Moms Who Feel Alone and Anxious
If you’re a mom who feels alone, who constantly compares herself to others, or who fears she’s the only one struggling: you are not broken. You are carrying more than most people realize.
Therapy offers a space to exhale, reflect, show up authentically and feel less alone. It helps interrupt the inner dialogue that says you’re failing—and replace it with something gentler, truer, and more sustainable.
You don’t have to figure it all out. You just have to take one small, supported step at a time.
If this resonates with you, hit the link on my home page to schedule a free consultation. Let’s do this together! :)
